The topic this month is depression. I know this is a very strange topic to be writing about as we are approaching happy holiday times, people gatherings and the start of a new year. But sometimes the thought of an approaching celebration, or remembering a happy or sad memory involving a specific event ‘triggers’ us to feel melancholy. From a personal situation, I do not happily look forward to Valentine’s Day, with all the flowers, “I Love You” balloons, and advertisements, as my husband died on this day at 5:55 PM. To help me deal with this upcoming personal event, I avoid the ‘event exposure’ as much as possible and try to remember our happy times. Each of us has to learn to develop our own individual coping mechanisms that work for us to deal with our sadness.
Whatever terms you use: sadness, “blues’, sorrow, down or depression, they have varying degrees and length of time. I am sure we all have had this emotion at various times in our lives. The crucial part of it is: how much does it affect / impact our daily life and activities? For those who like studies and data: According to America’s Health Rankings from the United Health Foundation, nearly 15 percent of people ages 65 and older have been diagnosed with depression, with an increase during the Covid pandemic. Keeping in mind, this is ‘reported’ information only, so those ‘cases’ of a person experiencing depression not reported is not included in this data.
Although we have made many advances in medicine, the stigma of having a mental health issue is still a “taboo”–a “shameful” topic that is normally not spoken about. Many times it’s not acknowledged or even recognized by a person who is having this experience. But this condition can and does have a great negative impact on your quality of life.
Most people recognize heart attack indicators, but depression signs/symptoms are quite subtle making it difficult at times to identify that it’s happening to you or a person you love and care about. To help recognize this situation, this is a partial list describing some of the things to observe for: (a) persistent sadness, anxiety, “emptiness”, loneliness, sense of isolation, guilt, worthlessness, helplessness, feeling not having a purpose in life, (b) loss of interest in previous pleasurable things in life, avoiding social friends/ events, unexplained loss or increase of appetite/interest in food, consuming more alcohol than previously, (c) persistent unexplained problems with: pain, digestion, mental concentration – focusing- memory, unexplained slowed speech and movements, and etc.. Depression is subtle, learn what is your ‘normal’ and notice changes in mood, energy, enthusiasm as a way to help monitor if you are slipping into depression.
Coping skills can help you manage, minimize and tolerate the negative emotions you are experiencing. Coping skills are learned techniques that a person can use to deal with depression, stress and grief. Learn several different ones, to find the ones that help you in various situations. This is a brief list of things to see that might help you: (a) exercise to whatever level you are physically able, (b) get enough sleep and eat a healthy diet – these things relate to your mood (c) pay attention to your thought – learn to recognize negative thoughts or ‘triggers’ so you are better prepared to deal with them, (d) deep breathing exercises/Yoga/Tai Chi/meditation, (e) keep a journal–it can help you express your frustrations/emotions, and also lets you see your progress dealing with your emotions, (f) create a hobby that sparks joy in your heart, (g) seek help: therapy with a Mental Health Care professional, Family Doctor, support group, or talk with a good trusted friend,(h) treat yourself with kindness AND patience – reward yourself when you do something difficult or overcome a challenging situation. A wise friend said: we should practice self-compassion.
A suggestion: if you recognize that any of these changes are happening to you or you see this in a friend/loved one, acknowledge it, and seek help. Struggling alone with any kind of problem i.e. a broken leg, a stroke, depression and etc.. does not have to be handled by you on your own. Take a deep breath and ask for help – you do not have to be or feel alone!
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