THERE ARE SO MANY KINDS …
There are so many kinds of awful dame
He’d foolishly invited to his bed,
He said he’d never make that crazy same
Mistake again – a new mistake instead.
The poetess who sang and wept and bled,
She read him odes from Russia and Ukraine
And brought her bearded friends to smoke in bed –
There are so many kinds of awful dame.
The sexy broad who beat him with a cane,
It wasn’t as much fun as she had said –
Indeed he got no pleasure from the pain
He’d foolishly invited to his bed.
The feminist who took him to Sex-Ed,
She told him that all men should take the blame
The world was in a mess and underfed –
She nearly drove him crazy and insane.
The bitch who stole his money and his name
And maxed out all his credit cards and fled –
Ah well, he’ll not make that mistake again,
He’ll find a lovely new mistake instead.
So the neurotic was at least well-read
Though high on pills and alcohol and shame,
Her Freudian love was mostly in her head –
He’d lived and learned and lived and learned, he’d claim
But then – there are so many kinds of awful dame.
By Michael Warren