THE YEAR’S SILLIEST [actual] HEADLINES OF 2012

THE YEAR’S SILLIEST [actual] HEADLINES OF 2012

 

*Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says [no, really?]

* Police Begin Campaign to Run down Jaywalkers [now that’s taking things a bit far!]

* Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over [what a guy!]

* Miners Refuse to Work after Death [no-good-for-nothin’ lazy so-and-sos!]

* Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant [see if that works any better than a fair trial!]

* War Dims Hope for Peace [I can see where it might have that effect!]

* If Strike Isn’t Settled Quickly, It May Last Awhile [you think?]

* Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures [who would have thought!]

* Couple Slain; Police Suspect Homicide [they may be on to something!]

* Red Tape Holds up New Bridges [you mean there’s something stronger than duct tape?!]

* Man Struck by Lightning Faces Battery Charge [he probably is the battery charge!]

* New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group [weren’t they fat enough?!]

* Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Spacecraft [That’s what he gets for eating those beans!]

* Kids Make Nutritious Snacks [Tastes like chicken?]

* Local High School Dropouts Cut in Half [Chainsaw Massacre all over again.] 

* Hospitals are Sued by Seven Foot Doctors [Boy, are they tall!]

And the winner is: Typhoon Rips through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead (Can you believe it?)