Fun Memories Of Mom And Dad
By Bob Tennison
It was in my early teens that I realized how much fun my parents were, what a great sense of humor they had and how much enjoyment they received from playing tricks on each other, and especially on people lacking a sense of humor.
One of the real winners was the time my father was going on a fishing trip with some of his buddies, leaving at four o’ clock in the morning. He retired very early, and my mother decided how much fun it would be to sew up the cuffs of his trousers. When his alarm went off she heard him stumbling around in the bathroom trying to put on his trousers and wondering what in the world was going on. She finally heard him leave the bathroom for the machine drawer and a pair of scissors. As he finally leaned over to kiss her goodbye between her gales of laughter, he said, “I’ll get even.”
He lived up to his word the day she went shopping with a friend, to be followed by a box lunch party at another friend’s house. While she was away he short-sheeted her bed as he knew she would be tired and ready to get to sleep for an early Sunday morning. It was his turn to laugh when he heard her having to remake her bed after finally figuring out what had happened.
Each and every Sunday morning for four weeks, around seven or a little earlier, we got a phone call from a woman asking for Sister Thompson. On the fifth Sunday I heard my mother say, “Sister Thompson didn’t come home until four this morning, and she’s still too drunk to come to the phone.” Needless to say, no more Sunday calls for Sister Thompson.
My father was a Dallas policeman, and he was still in uniform when he picked me up downtown one afternoon on the way home. We were stopped at a red light and the very moment the yellow light came on, the car behind us honked, not a smart move on the part of that driver. My father got out of the car, walked back to the “honker” and, since this was before air conditioning in cars, reached through the open window, turned off the man’s ignition, threw the keys across the street and onto the raised sidewalk. Heaven alone knows how long it took the “honker” to find his keys. Something tells me he never honked his horn at all after that episode.
Shopping with my mother one day for a gift for the new baby of a friend turned out to be a real hoot. Mother wanted something unique and different. The saleslady behind the counter showed her a pair of blue booties. My mother didn’t think they were unusual enough and somebody else was sure to take them to the party, so we continued looking. The saleslady followed us around with suggestions, bringing along the booties she was determined to sell my mother. Mother found a beautiful blanket and matching pillow, so we took them to the counter to be gift wrapped. As we were ready to leave, the saleslady again asked my mother if she wouldn’t like the blue booties as well.
My mother told her again that, even though they were beautiful they just wouldn’t do. The saleslady then asked if my mother would tell her why they wouldn’t do and, to my surprise, she said to the saleslady, “Well, there are only two booties here. And I would need three.” The look on the saleslady’s face as we turned to leave was something I will never forget. She may even be still trying to figure that one out.
(Ed. Note: There will be more of these stories as, in Bob’s words “they come to mind when the mind is really working.”)