Non-Sequiturs, Anyone?

Non-Sequiturs, Anyone?

By Bob Tennison


alfred e neumanClaire and David were ecstatic when she gave birth to identical twin boys; they had difficulty telling them apart until she had a small leather band made for Tommy Gene’s wrist. When Claire’s father died, the boys were old enough to travel. They flew to Boulder, Colorado for his funeral. Their parents remained to take care of many details, so the boys were put on a non-stop bus to Dallas. They were seated behind the driver, who promised to take special care of them.

The weather suddenly changed to sleet and snow, which excited the boys but put a damper on adult passengers, aware of problems in mountain travel. The driver stopped to pick up a man who flagged him down, boarded the bus, shot the driver and pulled him out of the door. The boys grabbed each other’s hands and followed them out.

Landing in the freezing water was indeed a shock; on rising to the surface they heard the bus hit the water a short distance away. They swam toward a dim light; no easy task in the freezing water. Nearing exhaustion, on reaching the shore they discovered the dim light was over a sign reading “Donald’s Fishing and Boat Rentals.”

The door was answered by a surprised man, Donald, who took a quick look at the shivering boys, invited them in, led them to a room with a blazing fireplace, and hurried for some army blankets, hot coffee and brandy. The boys ripped off their wet clothes, wrapped themselves in the blanket and stretched out in front of the fireplace.

Early the next morning Donald left in his truck, headed into the village for supplies and to see if emergency vehicles had responded to his urgent call.

The boys were awake and having coffee when they heard strange noises under the floor. Finding a trap door to the cellar, they thought they were in a house of horrors on seeing an attractive blonde hanging on a rope from the rafters by her hands, heavy ropes binding her wrists. Her story was a grim, ugly one. Donald was her jealous husband who found her laughing and talking to some fishermen, accused her of flirting, and began the rope- hanging program, letting her out of bondage to fix meals, eat under constant watch before returning to the ropes.

They prepared for her rescue by waiting for his return, knocking him out, tying him up and leaving him in the cellar while they escaped in the truck. It worked as planned, and the twins waited in the truck while the woman packed a small suitcase.

Two shots rang out before she came to the truck, but no questions were asked. She started messing with one of the boy’s crotch until he took her hand, put her fingers in his mouth and bit down as hard as possible. She screamed for what seemed like hours, moving as close to the door as possible. The trip to her sister’s house in Denver took about four hours. The boys sat in the truck until they saw her sister open the front door, followed with many hugs, then sped off to the airport for a flight back to Dallas. They would leave the keys and parking ticket under the driver’s seat, calling to tell her where it was parked.

They had been home about three nights when the doorbell rang at four in the morning. Opening the door they found a large black trash bag, and their day turned into a nightmare as they discovered the pretty blonde’s dismembered body. Afraid to call the police and get involved in a murder case, they dragged the bag to the porch of the old grouch next door who called the police whenever they had a party, complaining about the noise. Worst of all, he had forced them to get rid of their dog, which he claimed barked too much and kept him awake during his nap time.

After hearing sirens and commotion from his house they went back and rang his doorbell, but there was no answer. His car was not in his driveway. They never heard from him again.

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