Alone In Her Room
By Gloria Palazzo
All these people at the convalescent home, probably 15 at
any given time, living in a state that in no way resembles
the life I had been living, and yet they need us who are not
them, who are socked away, where for the most part they
are not seen or heard, and yet they eat and drink, even
speak in ways that no one understands, although alone in
my room, I hear some of their cries and can feel the
waste of all their efforts to stay alive, in spite of the futility
that age and illness has set in, and still they survive to
face the new day, even though most of them will not see
the light of day, and while a few have visitors, sometimes
whole families come from far away, like Nevada and
Australia, and I know and feel the love they bring with
them, along with the boxes of chocolates for the nurses,
is so real that I have a difficult time swallowing the hard lump of emotion stuck in my throat, like it’s just too much
for me to swallow, and I tear up and I cry a few tears, not
of sadness, but of love, and feel as though seeing this
so unfamiliar ending to these lives, and more than
anything, what I want to know is if these old and mostly ill
people have a clue about where they are, and how well
cared for they are, by the aids and nurses who treat them,
even though this job, and it is a job, gives them no real
material gain, and still I see joy and dedication and love on
their faces, in their postures, and the unending changing of diapers, cleansing of feeding tubes and the handling of
turning those who cannot turn themselves, as I hear them
speak with love to every one, including me, as I remain alone in my room, where I too am feeling cared for and about, and I just know that soon a dear friend will come by with a cinnamon biscuit and a cup of coffee, and we will talk and they will tell me all that they have been up to, even though tomorrow I will not remember anything we
talked about, only the cinnamon cake, and sometimes
there are two in the package, which means I have some
to share with the sweet person who will be here soon to take my temperature and test my blood pressure and wish me a good night’s sleep.
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