Visions Of A Perfect Partner-Life Ongoing
By Christy Wiseman
Being alone after 40 years of having a special partnership, I am sometimes asked what I would consider to be a “perfect partner.” Knowing that nothing is perfect, I nonetheless take the challenge.
Dreams are free. Realities have a price. “Know thyself” deserves some thought and may protect us in the long run so it seems a good place to begin. Know what you have to give and what you don’t in a relationship as well as what you want in return. Hopefully the other person has done the same.
I visualize a partner who is a best friend; someone special to me and to whom I am special.
*Someone that I can totally trust with my heart and body who has similar interests so we can enjoy things together, but also different interests so we can enjoy time apart.
*Someone who has a fun sense of humor, with whom I can joke and tease and have fun with in private and also enjoy and be proud to be with in public.
*Someone who is kind and thoughtful and bright, however I define that.
*Someone who has character and strength in his beliefs who will gently be there when/if I need direction, both by example and by communication – a true partner, not bossy, just a God trusting helpmate whose strength I can share with and count on – one who knows who he is as a man and as a true partner and who respects who I am as a woman and as a true partner.
*Someone, who when we disagree looks with me for an acceptable compromise so that we both feel the solution is a win/win.
*Someone who doesn’t “cut and run” at the first sign of a problem, but has the strength and desire to stay and work things out and who gives me that strength too.
Wrapped in that is a desire for good health, positive attitudes, cleanliness in body and spirit, integrity, and mutual protection of those things that are important to the other, so we can be more together than separately, both for one another and for those we choose to befriend.
Is there such a person in my future? Is there such a person in your now? What was or is your vision and how has that or will that affect your reality?
Most of us in this community of ex-pats are seniors and are only too aware that now is all we have for however long we have it. We want whatever our now is, to be happy and full, whether we choose to be alone or with a partner.
Sometimes, because life is not always perfectly aligned with our wishes, we need to make allowances and we need to find the special privilege in caring for someone we love when, on their journey, they can no longer care for themselves. Sometimes it is they who need to care for us (God forbid!) It is the price one pays for having had that wonderful, but imperfect partner.
“Grow old along with me. The best is yet to be.” —Robert Browning
I wish for you, a not so perfect partner, understanding that you aren’t one either and the discovery that for you, the “best” was never about perfection, it is about the joy two imperfect beings can find in one another.