By Rico Wallace
Sometimes the sweet witches of Lake Chapala are wicked. It was the day of revenge and they stood around a grumbling pot. “Well, Pearl, any plans?” Glinda asked. “You are a natural beauty.”
“Some of it really is natural,” Pearl said. ”Nobody messes with this witch.” She shook her wand, splashing sparkles through the air.
“So, it will be me, Hermione and Samantha,” Glinda said. “Hear without sound, speak without words, see without light, to heal sores we settle scores. Prick your fingers.” They brewed the blood, a mouse ear, snake tongue and eyeball of a squirrel. The Black Cat proprietor, she spread Devil’s scat on a ten-centavo coin. “Let’s fly bitches, fly.”
“Don’t say bitches,” Hermione said, “that’s demonizing.” They met her grudge riding a horse. “Warren,” she said, “you shouldn’t have put so much tequila in our drinks.”
“We like the ladies happy and drunk,” Warren guffawed.
Hermione went by, Warren insulting her backside with his riding stick. She tied a plastic bag to the tail. The startled horse flicked the bag, jumped and twirled. Warren wrapped his arms around its neck as it bucked and whirled down the street.
They met the cheapskate, Milton. “I heard some gossip, I short-changed you,” Glinda said. “You were right.” She took the centavo, fawned a kiss, and gave it to him.
He kissed it. “Thanks, Glinda,” he said. “Oh, no, I have to hurry.” He waddled away with his hand on his keister.
“Donde esta el bano, hurry, hurry,” Glinda taunted. “Woo-who, Woo-whoooooo-who.”
At the fiesta, when Opal the maid came walking through the plaza, flaunting her sexy costume, Samantha stopped her and said, “If you are going to my girlfriend’s house to clean today, I don’t want you to anoint my handle with the Mandrake ointment and fly my broom, again, ‘I’ll get you, my little pretty…. ’”
When Opal tried to step away, Samantha tripped her and she tumbled, skirt flipped, pantyless, causing the revelers to cover their mouths, chuckling at her scurrying down the street as the witches cackled, “Eh hey-hey-hey-hey-hey. Eh hey-hey-hey-hey-hey.” Poof.