When Insults Had  Class…. – January 2010

When Insults Had  Class….

 

These glorious insults are from an era when cleverness with words was still valued, before a great portion of the English  language got boiled down to four letter words, not to mention waving middle fingers.

A member of Parliament to Disraeli: ‘Sir, you will either die on the gallows or of some unspeakable disease.’ ‘That depends, Sir,’ said Disraeli, ‘on whether I embrace your policies or your mistress.’ ‘He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire.’

– Winston Churchill

‘I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great  pleasure.’

– Clarence Darrow

‘He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader
to the dictionary.’

– William Faulkner (about Ernest Hemingway).

‘Poor Faulkner. Does he really think big emotions come from big
words?’

– Ernest Hemingway (about William Faulkner)

‘Thank you for sending me a copy of your book; I’ll waste no
time reading it.’

-Moses Hadas

‘I didn’t attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I
approved of it.’

– Mark Twain

‘He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends.’

– Oscar Wilde

I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new play;
bring a friend…. if you have  one.’

– George Bernard Shaw to Winston
Churchill

‘Cannot possibly attend first night, will attend second… if
there is  one.’

– Winston Churchill, in response.

‘I feel so miserable without you; it’s almost like having you
here.’

-Stephen Bishop

‘He is a self-made man and worships his creator.’

– John Bright

‘I’ve just learned about his illness. Let’s hope it’s nothing
trivial.’

– Irvin S. Cobb

‘He is not only dull himself, he is the cause of dullness in
others.’-

–  Samuel Johnson

‘He is simply a shiver looking for a spine to run up.’

– Paul Keating

‘There’s nothing wrong with you that reincarnation won’t cure.’

-Jack E. Leonard

‘He has the attention span of a lightning bolt.’

– Robert Redford

‘He loves nature in spite of what it did to him.’

– Forrest Tucker

‘Why do you sit there looking like an envelope without any
address on it?’

– Mark Twain

‘His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork.’

– Mae West

‘Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they
go.’

– Oscar Wilde

‘He has Van Gogh’s ear for music.’

– Billy Wilder

‘I’ve had a perfectly wonderful evening but this wasn’t it.’
– Groucho Marx