MAY I HAVE THOSE MINUTES BACK, PLEASE?
By Carol Ann Curtis
Ever wonder how many minutes of your life you’ve lost doing meaningless things? When my children were young, I often had that thought. As I stood at their bedroom doors ensuring that toys and clothes were picked up and properly stowed away, I thought about the hours of time that I was giving up to this task over the years. But, teaching them to be organized and responsible was important, right? Now that I’m getting close to the end of this life time, I do wonder about some of the things that take our time without leaving a meaningful residue. Couldn’t we get science to help us with these tasks and give us even more time to enjoy a sunset or a margarita?
Let’s take those toy pick-up moments. If we spend just ten minutes a day getting the toys picked up, that’s 365 times 10 times for at least 12 years. That’s 43,800 minutes or 30 days! A month of our lives getting the toys picked up. Science has to be able to help. I mean, what if all toys had a magnet inserted into them. Then we could mount a powerful magnet onto the ceiling of the room. Throw a switch, and all the toys are instantly swooped up to the magnet and held until the next time they are needed for play. Ah, one month of time given back to us; plus, think of the reduction of family stress this would cause.
OK, it’s too late for most of us to enjoy that scientific invention, but what about those sticky labels that the evil, sadistic manufacturers like to put on everything…including fruit! I bought a toolbox recently and spent 20 minutes scrapping the label off the front. Even with the solutions that guarantee to remove sticky residue, it takes time. I stood in my kitchen scraping and thought of the time I’ve lost to this chore over my many years. Let’s say that you only have to remove three labels a month and it takes five minutes for each label. That’s 15 minutes a month throughout your adult life. If your mom scraped for you until you were twenty and you’re now sixty, that’s 7,200 minutes worth of scraping that you’ve put in. You’ve lost five days of time to label scraping! What I could do with five more days!
So, here’s a scientific solution that creates new jobs, expands the economy and gives us back at least five days of our time. A brilliant inventor creates a simple label removing device that attaches easily to the refrigerator or microwave or can opener. This small devise is not too expensive, let’s say $9.99. The labels are made to stay on all products, including plums, until they are moved close to the devise. Then, magically the label come off the item and stays attached to the devise. Voila! Five days of time back in our hands. Plus my husband wouldn’t have to listen to me mutter about the stupidity of someone or some machine having a job that puts these blasted labels on everything just to irritate me in my twilight years.
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