Chocolate Lovers and/or Chocoholics of the World, Unite!
By Iris Slocombe
Isn’t it time for you to stop sneaking candy bars in a closet or bathroom? Join your peers and become a founding member of COTWU. Read our manifesto and suggested guidelines for best personal reward. Chocolate is good for you, like most things, but best in moderation.
Sensible doctors agree chocolate is positively good for you, as part of a well-balanced diet. See below (Yummier than red wine!). Milk chocolate increases a child’s sense of contentment and happiness, as a temporary fix only. Admittably, red wine is preferable to chocolate if you are serving/ordering steak Diane! Caution: chocolate may become very addictive at an extremely early age. Drinking hot chocolate at night helps you sleep more soundly.
Remember, chocolate was reserved for Mexican aristocrats only, not peons. They also considered it a mild aphrodisiac…Hmm.
Best results are achieved if you purchase your supplies daily at a store a little way from your home, so you have to walk frequently.
Take your dog and buy him/her a treat as well, not chocolate, of course. Be thankful you are not your pet for which chocolate is NOT good.
Refuse to be intimidated by the disapproval of others who do not know or care what they are missing. Instead, invite them to join you as associate members of COTWU.
Throw a ‘death by chocolate’ covered dish party. Request each guest to prepare his/her favorite ‘indulgence’. No absolution is required, nor will be granted. Better yet, invite guests to wear ‘grubbies’ and help you prepare your own complex entree. Remember finger-licking guests will use lots of paper towels and kleenex. Two such parties a year will establish your reputation as a superb COTWU hostess/host. Avoid all salty snacks which are positively bad for you.
Always make a list when going shopping for your daily personal needs and/or when planning a party. Label plastic boxes for each weekday, to carry to the office just one treat for yourself, so you won’t feel you have to feed everyone. Hide your purchases from children, a high shelf is good. Be careful when climbing up yourself. Practice removing only one day’s supply at a time.
Very bitter chocolate is considered an important indicator of superior intelligence, even though like wit, it is an acquired taste.
Keep a separate fondue pot for preparing chocolate fondues. The flavor will not taste as good if the pot is used for preparing cheese and other savory dipping sauces. Some may disagree. Use superior quality chunk chocolate such as can be purchased at Whole Foods groceries.
COTWU anticipates the approval and sponsorship of superior European chocolates such as Suchard, and Godiva. British firms such as Cadbury, and Rowntree if still in business. Global firms such as Mars and Hershey. We anticipate Harrod’s of London as sponsors, that they will add “Home of COTWU” to their shopping bags.