Articles 2013

THE YEAR’S SILLIEST [actual] HEADLINES OF 2012

THE YEAR’S SILLIEST [actual] HEADLINES OF 2012   *Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says [no, really?] * Police Begin Campaign to Run down Jaywalkers [now that’s taking things a bit far!] * Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over [what a guy!] * Miners Refuse to Work after Death [no-good-for-nothin’ lazy so-and-sos!] * Juvenile

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DEAR PORTIA

DEAR PORTIA —Advice to the Lovelorn, the Overfed and The Deeply Disgruntled   Dear Portia: After years of widowhood, I have finally found a nice man here at Lakeside who has asked me to marry him. Like me, he has been living alone, and wants a sympathetic companion for whatever time is left to him.

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ACCIDENT

ACCIDENT By Zofia Barisas   She’s driving home. Her small son sleeps next to her, strapped in his child’s chair. It’s nighttime. Cars are flowing in both directions in strings of weeping lights. A car overtakes from the right, fishtails across her path, jumps across the median and plows into an oncoming car. She pulls

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