Tardy
Why are some people always late? These people arrive at meetings, lunches, dinners, and shopping dates harried, and breathless. They have many good excuses: terrible traffic, received a last-minute phone call (why answer it?), overslept, something came up at the office. The excuses are usually similar justifications, on repeat.
I must have a military trait, even though I never served in the military. I like an appointment time to mean exactly the time given. The idea that recruits in boot camp wake up to reveille at precisely the same time each day is an appealing discipline in my book.
I have some friends and family who come from different viewpoints on time management. They think of time as more fluid, thinking nothing of being 20 minutes late for dinner or an agreed-upon arrival time. For those close enough that I may chastise them, they look at me as though I have a problem. What is the matter with me, they wonder, that I’m so serious about social engagement schedules?
Long ago, when I was single, I would be furious if a date came late to pick me up. I tolerated far too many occasions of men arriving long past our appointed time to go out. When I reflect on these times, I wish I’d drawn more boundaries or severed relationships sooner.
In business, tardiness was not acceptable. Managers expected employees to show up on time or pay was “docked” and notes were taken. Enough tardies could put an employee’s job in jeopardy. Things were expected to run like clockwork.
Once I was having lunch with an executive several steps up the corporate ladder from me. We watched a table where a woman was obviously expecting someone, glancing often at her watch. Her vigilance lasted for about twenty minutes. My Big Boss said, “She should have left at fifteen minutes.” I don’t know where he got that figure, but it certainly would have been a power shift to whomever she was meeting with. I took note.
I recently learned in a psychology presentation that tardiness was a form of relationship abuse. Now this made sense of my angry responses in the past. I felt mistreated.
I did a google search of the psychological importance of punctuality. The AI overview made sense. Timeliness “demonstrates respect, reliability, and professionalism, influencing how others perceive and trust individuals. It also fosters self-discipline, time management skills, and can contribute to a sense of control.”
These words were music to my ears. My feelings were validated. Being on time is a big deal.
I now have set new rules for engagement with my tardy associates. I text confirmations on time so there is no ambiguity. I send a day-before reminder. At the appointed time of the engagement, I assume the chronically late will be late. I start events on time, without them. I wish I could act like my doctor and bill them for the inconvenience to the timely. My solution means that they miss out on something, which is a motivating factor. “Too bad you missed the crab legs. They were delicious!”
I doubt my new plan will cure all chronically late individuals, but I am certain I will feel less anxiety and that alone is worth my latest practice. I will feel more respected by those who adapt to the new rules of punctuality.
Now I need to review my essay for spelling and grammar. My paper is due today.
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