The Mid-Knight Rambler…
By Ron Knight
Oh boy, the way things have been going, I think we’ve all been in North America way too long. So I think we should all Move… On the count of three… One…Two…THREE!
Hey! It’s good to be here! Stepping one step to the right, hey, it isn’t too bad over here, either. This week, I just got a brand new package of underwear. Yes, big news. And way down inside, right on the crotch, there’s a little sticker that says Inspected by Carol. I tell ya, I didn’t take it off. It gives a guy kind of a sense of confidence, to know that hey! It’s been inspected by Carol! I must have passed! Not only do I have one, it’s been inspected. And it’s been approved. By Carol. Who, by the way… she knows about these things. I thought it was kind of impressive.
I like the little signs up in the windows of some of the cleaners and laundry shops. “Wacky Wednesday! 15% off Dry Cleaning”. I’m not sure I want anybody getting Wacky over my cleaning. ? Can’t you just see what’s going on in the back of that cleaners? “Ooh hoo-hoo-hoo! Shirts! Sweaters! Ooohh-hoo-hoo hoo! Brand new Stains!!! Bwoo-ha-ha-ha-ha-haaaa….!”
Brand new stains? Er, I could swear I didn’t put ‘em there….
Okay, another subject…Has anyone actually ever had that dessert, Death by Chocolate…? It really is testimony to how wonderful the taste of chocolate is. Isn’t it? I mean, you couldn’t put that name together with anything else on the menu. Would you go into a restaurant and order Death by Broccoli ?
“What happened to that guy back there, kicked over in the chair?”
“Oh him… yeah… Death by Paprika!”
Actually that could never work for the name of an entrée. It sounds too much like a fashion designer fragrance.
Cue the mysterioso violins: enter lanky black clad yet voluptuous woman:
Announcer: “Death… by Paprika…”
All these years have gone by, and they still don’t know who was responsible for putting all the anthrax in the mailboxes in the USA when that scare was running rampant. They never got the anthrax thing figured out or narrowed it down; it could have been Iraq, might’ve been Russia… Even CBS at the time had a new network drama, The Agency, and the very week of the anthrax break outs, on the TV show they had the CIA dealing with anthrax on the week’s episode. I remember thinking, now wait a minute… it takes about 12 weeks to produce a show in advance to its air date. Right? So I think I know who was sending out the anthrax. It was the CBS promotion department.