Melody’s Mature Meeting

By Rico Wallace

 

 

Eighty year old Melody was ready for the dating scene, again. Still sharp as a barbed whip, she sat in the coffee shop waiting for her, Mature Online Dating, contact. An old-timer entered wearing a rumpled gray suit, no tie and sunglasses. He looked around and said to Melody, “I’m Riff. I hope you’re my date.”

“Yes I am,” Melody said. “Have a seat. I want you to know from the start, I don’t neeed a maaan. I have a beautiful home with a view. I’m happy with my space and I know you don’t live here full time. If you did I would be sure to know you. I know almost everybody in this town. If I don’t go out, how am I supposed to meet people?” 

Riff’s jaw dropped and a little drool rolled out the corner of his mouth.” I will now reconsider that,” he said. “ I have the option to go full time.”

“You do?” Melody asked as she batted her eyes. “I have a lot of money, too,” she blurted.

Riff smiled, real big, flashing his crowns and implants. “I’m calling my real estate agent, asap,” he said. “I like you already.”

The rest of the conversation went like this: 

Melody: “My last boyfriend kept falling down. I had to drop him. He-he.” 

Riff: “I’m good on my feet.”

Melody: “You got money?”

Riff: “Money can’t buy love.”

Melody: “What do you know about love?”

Riff: “Everything still works.”

Melody: “You’re a real card.”

Riff: “They used to call me Ace.” 

Melody: “How do I know you’re not a con man ?”

Riff: “Honestly, to tell you the truth, I’m not. Believe me.”

Melody: “You speak with a snake’s tongue.”

Riff: “From your luscious lips to mine.”

Melody: “This smells a little fishy.”

Riff: “You would be a good catch.”

Melody: “I buried 3 older men already, with good life insurance.”

Riff: “I buried 2 younger women with good life insurance. You got insurance?”

Melody: “‘You’re a little rough. I can’t make a silk purse from a sow’s ear.’”

Riff: “I hear ya.”

Melody: “You’re suffocating me already.”

Riff: “You take my breath away.”

Melody: “I smell a rat.”

Riff: “You’re a little nosey.”

Melody: “I never want to see you again.”

Riff: “OK, I’ll see you later.”

He gave her 2 thumbs up.

Melody left the coffee shop, went home, telling her friends the date went really well, although the guy seemed a little hot and bothered and she had to throw some cold water on him, but that said, they may get together again, sometime, after things cool off a little bit.

 

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