The Wonder Woman Impersonator

Dear Reader, in the process of studying fractals, infinitely complex patterns that repeat forever, an odd little story popped into my mind. Aside from the names of certain characters all research data in this story has proven to be true.

The Wonder Woman Impersonator

The audience waited for Pu-Issant, the san-peur Wonder Woman impersonator, to step on Manhattan’s Arena stage. Twenty thousand seats had been sold to adoring fans. No surprise. Not only did Pu mesmerize audiences worldwide, he had mastered the one virtue more valuable than gold, unconditional love.

And yet, to be truthful here, there were competitors who grudged Pu, who claimed his san peur to be false courage, but false it was not. As they say in Paris, san peur-ness enables a man to collaborate on multiple realities.

When performing in Manhattan Pu preferred suites in the Sasoriza Hotel located near the United Nations. Sasoriza was a Japanese fen shui sort of paradise. Pu selected Room 32 near the onsens, mineral water heated pools, an oriental bathing tradition with strict rules of etiquette. Guests soak together nude and silently; tattooed bodies are never allowed to enter. Tattoos have a dangerous reputation in Japan.

Several hours before the performance Pu ordered a snack from room service, pommes de terre à la crème, creamed potatoes with olive oil on the side. His diet was always this. Meanwhile downstairs on the main floor Bell Captain Arnold Fleet greeted guests. At lunch hour, when customer arrivals diminished, Fleet went to the employee cafeteria for one of Chef Tagiyaki’s meals.

“Having a good day, Cap?

“Doin’ okay Chef, my legs be ache’n somewhat,”

“Sit down, rest feet, feel better after eat. I fl’resh make scorpion soup.”

“Skeered of scorpion soup, Tagiyaki. What else yoo’ got on d’menu?”

“Po’rk stoo?”

“Stew sounds fine, but no pork, remove de meat.”

 “No meat?”

“Yeah, use to work on a pig farm, de pork gotta go.”

Arn ate and returned to work.  Adam Boof, the Pulmonologist appointed to assure Pu-Issant stayed in good health, stepped out of a cab.

“Arnold Fleet at yo’or service ‘sah, may I take yoor luggage.”

“Third floor, Suite 32,” said Boof. He tipped Arn twenty dollars.

At the door of 32, Fleet noticed Pu standing in the hallway. “Good to see you up and about’sah. If ya don’mind me ask’n, how come yoo’s wearin’ a Wonder Woman costume?”

“Theater performance this afternoon, Captain. How do I look?”

“Very fine’sah, jus’like th’lady in the comic book.”

“Is my skirt hanging straight?”

“Seems to be leanin’ a bit more to the left than th’right. I been buy’n Wonder Woman comic books ever since I be six years old.”

“Is that so? What do you like about Wonder Woman?

“Mos’every thang, sah; she can save d’worrill wit’out ever have’n to kill nobody. She’s got a tiara with darts that fly out n’paralyze  crim’nals.”

“What luck, Captain. I have an extra Wonder Woman tiara in my costume box, may I give it to you as a gift?” 

“Oh no! No’thank ya sah, Wonder Woman put spells on people; if’n I take dat tiara a bolt of light’nin might strike me down dead. I got to get back to work now.” 

As Fleet turned to leave, Boof entered the corridor. “Salut Pu! I see you’re dressed and ready for the arena, meds are in the bag; the limo is waiting for us downstairs.”

Pu-Issant needed Boof‘s assistance for two reasons; firstly he had been born without a nose and the breathing nares, tiny oxygen filters located one inch beneath each eye, were easily irritated. Boof had a ready supply of allergy medicine. Secondly Doctor Boof had designed a prosthetic nose for Pu, a comfortably fitting handsome French design. Flaw-seeking critics found no flaws, in fact, they all seemed to agree, “Pu-Issant is a gorgeous tower of energy, from pop to op; his divine eight octave range plunges straight into the heart, the glissandos are magnificent. Pu-Issant absolutely knows how to control a crowd.”

The day after this particular Wonder Woman performance Pu was scheduled to speak to ambassadors, diplomats, and scientists in the United Nations Auditorium, a huge room with a seventy five foot tall ceiling.  President Maazel made the introduction. “Honorable Assembly, our speaker today is a visionary whose genius has inspired the entire world. I proudly introduce you to Monseiur Pu-Issant.”

Pu stepped to the podium; with palms pressed like a tai chi master, he slowly lifted his hands forward and commanded the stage. “Ladies and Gentlemen, for centuries many human beings believe the highest intelligence in the universe can only be themselves. However, this notion of human supremacy is seriously in question.

The sun above earth, which Egypt defines as Oeil de Dieu, the Eye of God, is one of a vast number of giant stars in a plasmidic universe. Earth’s sun is a plasmic fireball, equally surprising, the thunder in a lightning storm is plasma exploding. Let me show you how plasma works.” Pu clicked a remote, a stereoscopic 3D video screen filled the room with bubbling spiraling fractals cloning themselves faster than the human mind could follow.

“This is earth’s Milky Way. When NASA looks down from space this is exactly how the Milky Way looks. The cloning bubbles on the screen are giant balloons of plasma, tens of thousands of light-years tall. We have proof these bubbles communicate with one another.

NASA research has revealed plasma fills the entire universe like a vast puzzling ocean without end. Simply put, the experts believe what they see may very well represent a portal into higher realms of consciousness. Every effort to comprehend the origin of plasma leads to continuously changing realities. On this journey of discovery engineers have discovered plasma can be collected, electrically reproduced for various uses in modern technology.  When heated to a high temperature plasma cuts through metal like a knife cuts through butter.”

Ambassador Chompski scooted to the edge of his seat. “Do plasma bubbles in space have anything to do with plasma in blood?”

“Excellent question Ambassador. We are studying this. As of now we know every living thing on earth must have plasma to survive; without plasma humans, animals and plants will shrivel and die. There are 25 million million red blood cells in the body. The fluid portion is plasma. I refer you to the work of Professor David Bohm. He discovered when individual particles of plasma are separated, even when they are far apart, they have the ability to communicate with one another. In other words, plasma exhibits a shrewd intelligence, an intelligence involved in all activities on earth.  Added to this we have cohesive evidence that the so-called UFOs seen over earth are plasma supported; in every instance these vehicles display consistent synchronized behavior.

Ambassador Knout shouted from his seat, “What do you think they want from us?”

“Ambassador Knout, your question exposes the ultimate paradox. We assume Plasmid Relators are recording everything about life on earth. Thus far nothing has been asked from us.  It’s a wait and see situation. We assume they know a majority of  our population wishes to avoid conflict, simultaneously they see humans easily create conflict. For example, fourteen nations represented here today are warring with one another. Military leaders claim the purpose of war is to create peace and that is the paradox. Plasmids are most likely aware of this.

Follow me, if you will;  earth’s sun is a plasma fireball which allows for life on earth, simultaneously our military engineers are heating plasma to temperatures hotter than the core of the sun, over 100 million degrees Celsius, putting into bomb containers designed by human engineers to destroy human lives in the most painful way possible. 

Aghast whisperings passed from one ambassador to the next. When the disturbance settled, Pu continued speaking, “Science has come to believe everything we do on earth both good and evil is being broadcast out into the universe, transmitted on waves of plasma. All of our achievements, our political and religious corruptions, our social-sexual preferences, art and music, the voices of imprisoned people and so on. Where this information lands and how it is perceived is being echoed back to us twenty-four seven.”  

Ambassador Knoot shouted, “Are you saying humans are being observed the same way we observe animals in a zoo?”   

“Yes. ambassador, that is exactly what I am saying.”  

Kuwait’s emissary took the floor, “I’ve heard of this zoo theory. It is one of many explanations for the Fermi Paradox. The hypothesis states that alien life intentionally avoids communication with Earth to avoid interplanetary contamination The Zoo Hypothesis is justification for an activity known as METI, Messaging Extraterrestrial Intelligence. My question is, do you believe Plasmid aliens  are more intelligent than we are?”

Many in the audience protested loudly. President Maazel banged his gavel, “Quiet please.”

Pu continued, “Sir, you ask a multi-faceted question. Liquid gold is the nickname anatomists give to plasma. It is an extremely malleable mysteriously intelligent state of matter that enters every aspect of human life. Not only does it prevent human blood vessels from collapsing, it contains proteins which stop us from bleeding uncontrollably. The flow of plasma in our brains and bodies is essential to attacking bacteria, viruses and other nasties. Furthermore, plasma DNA is multidimensional and subservient to gene cloning. The cells and tissues of all living things can only be cloned in the presence of plasma.”

Ambassador Chompski shouted from his seat, “Forty-six nations have banned cloning!”

“Yes Ambassador, that is true, but no matter how many laws you pass against cloning,  cloning cannot be stopped.”

“Boo hiss boo. That’s an outrageous assumption!”

Pu-Issant laughed ala, “Boo hiss boo ala! Honorable Assembly boo his boo ala is just another form of music”

President Maazel again banged the gavel. “I advise everyone here to pipe down and pay attention. Monseiur Issant you are correct to say there is more to this than meets the human eye. Last night in Fairbanks, Alaska, at exactly 7:45 P.M, seven brightly lit alien vehicles, never-before-seen, flew alongside Japan Airlines Flight Number 1628 for exactly fifty minutes after which they silently vanished. All of this was photographed at multiple angles by NASA’s Fairbanks facility. We do not know if they are friendly or dangerous. Thus far they seemed curious, not hostile. I suggest we take stock of what might arouse their anger.”

Maazel turned to Pu, “Before we close this session, Monsieur Issant, do you have anything to add to what I just said?”

“Yes, one thing,” Pu stepped center front of the dais, “Ladies, gentlemen, listen carefully. We exist within an astonishingly large universe; it is virtually impossible for earth to be the only planet supporting intelligent life. From ancient to modern times, every nation in this room has documented alien visitations; both angelic and demonic strangers have been described in your own literature multiple times, including the Holy Bible. I suggest taking an hour out of your busy schedules to browse the bible. Today’s meeting is adjourned.”

Note to reader: As most of this story is based on current science,  two resources I thought you might enjoy reading are: Plasma: the liquid gold running through our veins and Brains: Fractal Thoughts | Psychology Today/Researchers from the University of Cambridge took a big step forward this year in understanding how our brains work. It seems that the brain has a fractal organization.

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