Aging, Isolation and Invisibility in Lakeside’s Expat Community
Whether we hail from Canada, the United States, the United Kingdom, Germany, France or some other far-off homeland, our decision to spend our golden years in Mexico was not made lightly. We often leave behind families, communities and support networks. Through volunteer work, arts organizations, outreach programs and other means, many of us have cultivated communities with both expats and locals here. In the best of times, we revel in the mutual love and caring of the villages we have created.
Some of us, though, have been here for a very long time. We aren’t as young or energetic as when we first came here. Many of us arrived here as couples but over time, our spouses, or significant others, have passed on. And we are now here alone. We no longer have the drive to maintain the social and community networks we have had a hand in building. There are many expats here who stay in their beloved Mexico without the benefits of extended family or strong community ties.
So, what happens to us when we fall on hard times? Many stick to their homes and rarely go out. Some have trouble meeting their most basic needs. I have watched while people become less and less involved with the community and become more isolated. Until one day we hear someone has died. And it is usually not pretty. Over a year ago, I moved into a condo, and my friends told me there was a foul odor in my home. As I have no sense of smell whatsoever, I was unaware. It took a week to find the source of that odor was my downstairs neighbor who had died and was decaying on the floor of his condo. He was an expat who kept to himself. He is not the first to be found like this.
As expats, we need to help each other plan for the inevitable. No one plans to end up like this, but they do fail to plan. It is very important for people who live on their own to devise some sort of a buddy system. Recruit friends, neighbors or a designated healthcare professional to check on you and document your health and/or your decline. There was a time in all our countries where churches and civic groups kept account of their population and saw to their needs. Many of these options no longer exist. It is left to individuals to put together a strategy for emergencies.
Once there was a prominent plan here called Post Life Planning. The Lake Chapala Society (LCS) had the largest registry, and the American Legion had one as well. But not all of us are enrolled or are members, and these programs are elevated or relegated depending on the priorities of different leadership. One thing you can and should do today is purchase an “emergency jar” at the Cruz Roja in Chapala (González Gallo 1, next to Cristiania Park). The current cost is 70 pesos. Cruz Roja first responders are trained to look for this jar on the top of your refrigerator. It contains two forms, one with basic info, i.e. your name, date of birth, sex and blood type. The longer form includes information about your medical history, emergency contacts and more. The form is bilingual, and the detailed instructions are in English.
One thing is certain, we need to work together as a community to repair the cracks in our system. We need to encourage organizations, even informal ones, to address the very real needs of those of us who are approaching our end-of-life journeys. We need to plan, prepare and participate. In Mexico, wills are drafted at half price in September. Now is a good time to make your will, update your will if needed, make sure people know who to contact in case of an emergency and provide for the care of your pets if you have them. Preparing in this way not only gives us peace of mind but is a gift for those who we leave behind. I call on local area non-profits to help renew, restore, or develop these practices. Our community will always have its vulnerable members. It is up to us to make sure they are neither forgotten nor forsaken. Please don’t let them become invisible.
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