MI AMIGA AMOEBA

MI AMIGA AMOEBA

By Beth Berube

 

My doctor recommended that I have a lab test to determine whether or not I might be hosting either an amoeba (a one-celled protozoa) or an intestinal parasite such as a worm.  I have been coming to Mexico for years and these types of internal hitchhikers are common.

A lab test resulting in a positive diagnosis would send most people sked addling to their nearest pharmacy in search of prescription drugs to eradicate gastro intestinal ailment perpetrators.

I am conflicted with a precept too elusive to define.  But I will try.

I am well into middle age, but do not fight middle age spread.  Am I blessed with a belt bulging inhibitor?  Is it biological or pathological?  Does it matter?

Awash in muddled emotions, I Wikipedia “intestinal parasites”.  My spirits are not buoyed by the definition.

Parasitism is a type of non mutual relationship between organisms of different species where one organism, the parasite, benefits at expense of the other, the host.

I imagine pint sized parasites sequestered inside me waiting to share a meal.  I lovingly think of them as my babies; hairless babies with no arms or legs, but with healthy appetites.  If I crave a Big Mac with fries and a shake, no worries.  Have two.  There is nothing non-mutual about our relationship.  The boys down there are working double time on my behalf.   So what if I have a little waxing and waning diarrhea from time to time; my biggish contemporaries with their underactive thyroids are besieged with bloat now and then. 

I approach a two-story white building.  Bold, blue letters above a window spell Laboratorio.  I have all the necessary paraphernalia and paperwork from my doctor with me.  Now, all I have to do is walk in and wait for the analysis.  I reach out and pull on the door handle.  It is locked.  I am relieved.  I guess I will have to come back mañana, but for now, I think I would like a big, juicy hamburguesa.