Jingle Bells!
My husband and I are at a holiday party, a gentle murmur of conversation buzzing around us. I lean in and speak softly, “Honey, look over your shoulder, I think I see Rex.”
He frowns as he tries to decipher what I just said. “You want me to put you on my shoulder and have sex?!”
My husband was having increasing experiences of hearing something different than what I’d just said. Unfortunately, he usually heard something that was a sexual reference. Some odd moments followed.
I mentioned this in front of his fishing buddy. He confirmed my suspicions and said he’d noticed the same misunderstanding of what was being said. He suggested a hearing test might be a good idea. He proceeded to explain that it wasn’t at all painful.
His buddy explained that he had gone for his test and been put in a soundproof booth. He had simple instructions to push a button for sound corresponding with the right or left ear. He was left alone.
“I’ve never had such peace and quiet,” he explained. “I was just dozing off when the technician returned.” He asked when the test was starting only to be informed it was over. He hadn’t heard any of the sounds. He needed powerful hearing aids.
My husband procrastinated. He admitted that he was hearing a sound like crickets. The noise was becoming a distraction.
I did an internet search and learned that buzzing or ringing in the ears can be a precursor for hearing loss. I noticed I too occasionally had a slight ringing in my ears. Damn that Rolling Stones concert! My ears had rung for days afterwards. Surely that was the beginning of my issue.
Tinnitus, the medical term for ringing in the ear without real noises in the environment, is common. There can be various causes and there are medical specialists who can treat this annoying symptom.
The medical term had me flashing back to my freshman year in high school. I didn’t like Latin class much (all those ancient tales of horses and carriages!) but I remember trying to make up for my poor test scores by leading the class in a holiday Christmas carol. The song was Jingle Bells. The lyrics started “Tinnitus, tinnitus, semper tinnitus…” To this day, I know what ringing in the ear sounds like, thanks to my Latin class.
Back to my husband’s challenges. He went to the general practitioner’s office and explained that I wanted his hearing tested. The nurse gave him what had to be the most perfunctory test possible. He sat in an empty room and made note of any sounds he heard her initiate with a machine outside of the room. He noted when the faucet dripped. He noted buzzes. He heard a siren outside and made a note of that. A cough from a patient in the adjacent exam room was noted. He had to have heard a lot of extra sounds that the nurse had not initiated, yet somehow, he passed the test.
A year later he finally agreed to go to a medical facility that specialized in audio function and came home with his new, high tech hearing aids. Now he hears everything. I’ve had to learn not to whisper, as he has this amazing ability to perk up when soft murmuring occurs. There are no more secrets.
If any of these anecdotes resonate with you, you might want to get thee to an audiologist in the new year. You hear what I’m saying?
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