On Love
“Love cures people – both the ones who give it and the ones who receive it.”
Karl Menninger, M.D.
We all want more love in our lives. In times as turbulent as these, the quest for love seems to magnify and spread. Just look at the number of apps that allow people to meet potential partners, or in some cases to satisfy lust, the physical manifestation of affection involving chemical attraction.
St. Valentine became the patron saint of love in several organized religions. He died a martyr on February 14th, thus that is the day we celebrate Valentine’s Day.
I checked Wikipedia to learn a bit about this saint associated with the search for love. His history went back to the Middle Ages, and I saw a term new to me, “courtly love.” A Google search defined this as a romantic relationship between unmarried people in medieval times. It was based on flirting, dancing and chivalrous efforts. Usually the relationships were secret, heightening their allure. Various sources I read had the relationships consummated or not. Knights were often involved, and sometimes the attraction was between a married woman and a single knight.
Today, technology has entered the search options. The population is much larger. It would seem only logical that love would flourish with all this universe of opportunity. Yet, when one reads about the state of current love, many people complain of loneliness and are without steady partners. Why is this?
I recall in my single years as a working woman, my friends and I would go out and see few single men. “Where are the men?” we asked each other over and over. Once I drove by a “gentlemen’s club,” a.k.a. a strip club. The parking lot was completely packed, and I thought to myself, “Well, there are a few hundred having drinks in there!”
Now there are apps that let people sexually connect if they are in the same geographical area and match up. I do not think love is likely to flourish under this arrangement. I read somewhere of a tip for the new year, “Get off Tinder.”
I’ve given this some thought. We need to focus on the giving part of love instead of the frustrating quest for it. Both are healing. Opportunities to give love are all around us.
Charities are always in need of volunteers. Everyone has some favorite cause they can engage with, offering a bit of time on nights or weekends. Each of those charities is comprised of a group of people sharing a common interest. Of course, those people know other people or have family members one might meet. The name of this game is “Increase Social Contacts.” More options increase one’s likelihood of meeting an interesting potential romantic partner. Those meetings will not occur while one works on a laptop, where we spend most of our waking hours.
I recall decades ago a friend asked me if I could take her shift at a charity event, as she had a last-minute social invitation. I agreed to help her and while I was working the booth a very handsome man chatted me up. He was a professional athlete from our state in town for a game. A lovely relationship blossomed, though geographical challenges limited its duration. I was always happy I had agreed to work that event.
Get off the computer. Get out. Do something for others. Keep this quote attributed to George Sand in mind: “There is only one happiness in life, to love and be loved.”
May love’s spell find everyone as we enter this month of Valentine’s Day.
- Vexations and Conundrums – March 2025 - February 27, 2025
- Vexations and Conundrums – February 2025 - January 29, 2025
- Vexations and Conundrum – January 2025 - December 23, 2024
