PROFILE – Elly Contreras

I first encountered Elly Contreras at a performance called To Whom I May Concern^®,held at the St. Andrew’s Church in early April.Individuals in the early stages of dementia shared their personal stories. The hall was filled to capacity, and the audience was moved by the performance. A short while later I attended a second, similar event, featuring the spouses of persons with memory loss.

Elly showed a short digital story featuring her beloved husband, Ramiro. A picture really is worth a thousand words, and her video demonstrated that memories may fade, but love does not. I wanted to learn more about this woman and the initiatives she is spearheading on behalf of those living in our midst with dementia. I contacted Elly and asked her to have lunch with me and tell me her story.

Elly was born in Holland and moved to Canada in her twenties. “It was an adventure, of sorts,” she laughed. But she wasn’t prepared for winters in Edmonton, Alberta. She and her first husband struggled to establish themselves in their new home. The marriage came to an end.

Enter the love of her life – Ramiro. He was a millwright by profession but was also an avid collector: “He collected everything – including antique automobiles.” They met at a market where they both had stalls. After they married, they opened a small printing enterprise in Spruce Grove, near Edmonton. “Ramiro taught himself everything about printing, and I took courses in accounting, graphic design, business administration, marketing and promotion, and computer technology at Athabasca University and NAIT so I could help run the business.”

Elly and Ramiro were the first in their town with a digital printer. They built a highly successful printing operation that they sold after thirty years. Meanwhile, they had become active in the Rotary Club, and in 2008 participated in Project Amigo, an educational program in Colima. They fell in love with Mexico and bought a condo in Manzanillo. Ramiro began exhibiting signs of memory loss and needed a safer environment. Elly made it her job to learn as much as she could about dementia.

As she described his onset, I was struck by how much responsibility fell on her shoulders, selling their Canadian home and Ramiro’s collections, finding a new home, and choosing appropriate care for her husband. Simultaneously, she was conducting research in various places, and one of her discoveries was the US based To Whom I May Concern^® (TWIMC), an interactive, theatre-style program that helps people living in the early stages of dementia give voice to their oft unspoken hopes and fears. Under the guidance of a trained facilitator, participants share their stories and co-create a script, which they then perform for an audience of loved ones, supporters and professionals.

When Elly sees a problem, she addresses it. Here she recognized that many members of our aging population suffer from dementia, creating a need to educate the community, including prevention and treatment. To date there are four support groups for persons with dementia, their partners and friends. There have been several performances of TWIMC^® and its offshoot (featuring partners) and coming up in March, Elly is planning an educational workshop for the community at large. She is also working with a few local restaurants so individuals with special needs and their families have a place to go with special menus and trained staff to make dining simpler and less stressful.

“My goal is to make lakeside a dementia-inclusive community,” she told me. She is well on her way to achieving that goal. And, as someone with four of my friends now in care facilities because of memory loss, I appreciate her dedication.