The Power of Candlelight

My goddaughter is going off to college next week. She’s attending a school that is an airplane ride away from her home, her parents, and all her friends. In a video call with her yesterday, she described her emotions as excited, anxious, and a little scared. She was smiling, which comforted me.

She spent last week saying goodbye to friends who departed first. She picked up her final paycheck from her summer job. She broke up with her boyfriend, who was her prom date. She said they knew all along that going to different colleges needed to be the end of their romance, but not their friendship. She said she knows there are new opportunities for romance in her future, but first she wants to focus on her classes.

I was proud of her maturity and happy that she did not cause herself unnecessary suffering by holding onto a relationship that would not help her thrive. She may be young, but she is already wiser than I was at that age.

Before we ended our call, I told her that I would light a candle for her new beginning on the day she and her mother fly to school. Lighting candles is a ritual that I perform so often that I buy votive candles in boxes of 50 and battery candles with longer life.

I light a candle when someone I know is suffering emotionally or physically. When a friend is waiting for test results, having surgery, has gotten bad news, is facing a difficult decision, is waiting for an answer to a prayer, is navigating a hard change in their life, or meeting a challenge of any kind, like starting college, I will light a candle. Sometimes I’ll keep a battery candle lit until I learn that peace was achieved.

I light the darkness feeling that I am doing something constructive. I am not only hoping for peace, I am also generating positive energy directed at someone with whom I cannot be in-person. It is an expression of love and care that I can manifest from near or far away.

When I keep vigil with someone at the end of their life, I keep a battery candle lit with the intention that my love and the glow will light the way across the threshold for that person until death ends the vigil. After a death, I will light a candle for another three days, sending love and light to those left behind, the mourners who are now busily processing the change in their lives.

When I take the time to light a candle, I am expressing my concern, and sharing in another person’s journey. I feel love and process loss. I acknowledge the reality of constant change. When the Lake Chapala Society (LCS) hosts its fourth Intercultural Celebration of Life and Service of Remembrance you will have an opportunity to light a candle for someone you love who now lives in eternity.

The first event is on October 20^th when the Before I Die Wall will be displayed on campus to capture your heart’s desire and inspire others. The Before I Die Wall project has become a global movement with over 5,000 walls created in over seventy-five countries and over thirty-five languages.

Beginning on October 20, volunteers will be at the entrance to LCS every day and through October 29^th from 10 AM to 2 PM, and after Open Circle, selling white luminaria bags for 50 pesos and memorial cards for a donation. The sales help to fund the free events.

On Sunday, October 26^th, I will present “How to Die Well: Ten Tips for the Living” at Open Circle. At 3 PM that afternoon, the campus will be flooded with 250 children in clever Halloween costumes to enjoy games, food, and prizes. Children up to 16 are invited, but they must have a ticket to participate. Tickets are free and can be picked up at the LCS office starting on October 1^st.

On Tuesday October 28^th, LCS Director of Education, Victor Camarena, will teach a class at LCS about how to build ofrendas, the tenderly assembled altars Mexicans create only for the Día de Muertos to celebrate the life of one or more loved ones.

On Wednesday morning October 29th, local organizations and community members will build impressive memorial altars at LCS. If you are interested in building one, please send an email to education@lcs.org, or come and watch the thoughtful process unfolding.

At 5:30 PM that evening, the gates to the campus will open to visitors. Enjoy a complimentary cup of hot chocolate with pan de muertos, or purchase a glass of wine and stroll around the ofrendas. The campus paths will be lined with 300 white luminarias on which the names of and messages to deceased loved ones can be viewed, lighting the night with a sense of peace and enduring love.

The Service of Remembrance commences at 6 PM with inspirational speakers, poetry, music, and a song. The event culminates with the blessing of a sacred bowl before the memorial cards are gently poured in and lit, symbolizing the impermanence of everything.

It’s been said that a person dies twice. First, when their heart stops. The second time, when people stop telling their stories. Keep someone you love alive by celebrating their place in your life with a luminaria on October 29th. Leaving the campus at dusk, you will walk through a work of art and a field of love that will light up your entire year.

The Intercultural Celebration of Life ends on Sunday, November 2nd, when the “Before I Die Wall” will be moved to the Malecon and a community altar will be built by LCS. It’s all about remembering with love and feeling grateful to be alive–and that is something to celebrate!