How Death Doulas are Improving the End-of-Life Experience in Lakeside

By Loretta Downs and Jane Lazar

The Lake Chapala End of Life Care Community is a group of death doulas and grief counselors serving Lakeside expats. We are part of a worldwide death-positive movement that promotes the understanding of death as a natural part of life rather than something to fear and avoid. The modern culture has trained us to accept and expect a medicalized experience of the end of life, an approach which can entail a forced continuation of living without regard to the quality of life or the pain and suffering that may be involved.

Thankfully, there is an alternative. Death doulas are nonmedical personnel trained to facilitate the planning and preparation that allows for death to be experienced in a more natural way. Dying is an organic, natural process which can be a spiritually deepening experience, both for the person who is living their end of life, and for the family, friends, and caregivers.

Death doulas understand that there is no life transition more sacred than the final one. Our community seeks to educate, support, and accompany those who choose a natural path to dying, as well as to offer guidance and resources for the process of grieving.

It is important to put some thought and planning into how emergencies involving the health of the body and end-of-life care will be handled. The legal, medical, and funeral process is much different in Mexico than in our home countries.

The Lake Chapala End of Life Care Community offers end-of-life planning expertise for expats in the Lake Chapala area, through individual consultation, quarterly classes at the Lake Chapala Society, and online. There are free, downloadable, fillable forms located in the Resources section of our website.

www.lakechapalaendoflifecare.org.

When these forms are filled out, printed, and saved in one notebook or file, you will be providing those who are close to you with all of the information they need to take care of your affairs when you cannot due to incapacitation or death. This is a huge gift to your loved ones.

End-of-life planning, including a Mexican medical directive, is relevant anytime. But it is particularly important in the following situations: if you receive a terminal diagnosis (usually of six months or less); if someone who is your medical power of attorney dies, leaves the country, or if your relationship with this person ends; or if there is a change or deterioration in your own health or mental status.

Death doulas, while holding death as a sacred passage, are also trained to understand the specific stages of dying. They can accompany you through the entire process, meeting with you along the way to help you identify and plan for what you want and what might support you best. This can include what you want (or don’t want) in your environment as well as your wishes regarding music, touch, and ritual. Or you might want help in projects such as writing stories about your life for your family to read, or there may be feelings or other communications you wish to express to family or friends.

If you are diagnosed with a terminal illness, consultations are available to help determine what you need and what care options are available to you here at Lakeside. The Resources section on the website can point you and those helping you to further care services.

Most importantly, this compassionate service is about being present with you and your caregivers, accompanying you, and guiding you along the way. If it is what you wish, a death doula will stay by your side, literally, until the end.

With the large population of aging expats in Lakeside, the need for death doulas is growing. We work as a team to balance our own time while honoring our clients’ needs. Our service is mostly volunteer with fees for some services.

In order to have a peaceful death, a good ending, you need to plan ahead for it, discuss what matters most to you with the people who matter most, complete certain documents, understand the dying process, and do the tasks needed to complete your life. Dying is a once-in-a-lifetime experience that calls for someone to guide you through it, someone who already knows the way.

If you have been trained as a death doula or have hospice experience, consider joining us. We are on a mission to elevate the end-of-life experience into a sacred, natural transition, supported in every possible way. The rewards of this tender service are immeasurable.

Follow our Facebook page where we post relevant articles and events:

Lake Chapala End-of-Life Care Community:

https://www.facebook.com/groups/1010236080931721

You can contact us for more information, to sign up for a class, or to join the community at:

www.lakechapalaendoflifecare.org.